9-14-11

On the way to preschool, Ella was trying to convince me that she should wear her new jean jacket for school pictures this afternoon. I (dumbly) protested, explaining that she's going to get hot, that we won't be able to see her pretty dress under that jacket, etc.; but that if she wants to wear it, that's her choice (at least it matches.) She then proceeded to channel Christian Siriano with a bitchy look and said, "Mom, it's all about my fashion. You just don't understand."

9-16-11

Ella is watching The Lawrence Welk show. She is IN LOVE with everything about it. The beautiful singing! The lively band! The man dressed up as an astronaut, tap dancing on the moon! (Yes. Really.)


And now, there is a woman singing Memories in a rose colored glittertastic full length gown. Memories.... light the corners of my miiiiiind.... This show never fails to disappoint or dazzle.

9-18-11

We're in the car, and Ella is singing the same short made up song over and over and over again. Carter asked her to stop. Ella proclaims, "Carter, stop blocking my genius!" Gah. Wish that kid had some confidence.

9-20-11

I accidentally interrupted Ella today. Her very snooty patootie response: "Well, MOTHER, as I was SAYING." Cripes.

9-21-11

Parenting lesson of the day: when Ella says, "What does this button do?" you should panic a little.

9-26-11

Ella has just requested a moronica. BWWWAAAAAHAAAAA....

10-3-11

On the way home from preschool, Ella was talking about adding and subtracting numbers. She yelled out, "Momma, I LOVE math!" Ummmm... this geektastic mom is JAZZED to have another math nerd in the house! *squeal*

10-4-11

Apparently, it's a morning of interpretive dance. Eating Fruit Loops? Let's create a dance about it! Reading Fancy Nancy? Let's dance about that, too! Folding and putting away the laundry? Well... DUH. DANCE, crazy pants!

10-7-11

Just overheard from Ella's mouth: "Carter, I can SMELL. YOU. FIBBING."

10-9-11

Ella is playing Wii. "Sorry, dude. You're going DOOOOOOWN."

10-14-11

Things you never want to have happen during a business conference call: "*insert bloody murder screaming here* I'm sorry. Do you mind holding for just a moment? *insert muffled threatening with the addition of evil mommy eyes* We're having a Barbie emergency on this end. I apologize. Please go on." Thank goodness for understanding clients. :/

10-16-11

Ella has just agreed to be Pebbles Flintstone for Halloween. I have a strong feeling that the cuteness level up in here is going to be OUT. OF. CONTROL.

10-21-11

On Sesame Street this morning, the word on the street is "embarrassed." Even after lots of explaining, Ella did not understand the concept at all. Somehow, I'm not surprised by this.

10-22-11

At this very moment, Ella and I are in the Target bathroom. She is explaining to me (and everyone within earshot) about how you poop. And grunting for dramatic effect. And counting her turds. I do NOT want to come out of this stall and face the women I can hear laughing.

10-31-11

Ella the cave girl went trick or treating tonight and decided to chat up every single adult that answered the door. "Your deck is creeeeepy." "Dude, you have a lot of stairs!" "You have numbers on your house, kinda like a car." "Two pieces? You are AMAAAAAZING!" HIL. AR. IOUS.

11-5-11

‎"I LOOOOOOOOVE my nipples!" Always a good way to start a dinner conversation. Thanks, Ella Noel, for always keeping things interesting.

11-10-11

Ella's decided that her name is now Ella Noel Bugpuff. At least it's fun to say.

11-12-11

A few moments ago, in a crazy whirl of an Irish jig, Ella proclaimed, "I just gotta keep dancing!" Yes, sweet girl... always keep dancing.

11-14-11

Ella is downstairs with the big kids. I just heard her yell, "You guys are driving me CRAZY... just like my mom."

11-15-11

I'm not one who believes in banning/burning books. However, I believe I've come up with an exception. Ella came home from school with Barbie: A Fairy Secret. It involves ridiculous jealousy, tricking someone into marrying the wrong person, and takes place in the fairy world of GLOSS ANGELES. I swear, I could barely get through the book without throwing up. It reminded me of a Jerry Springer version of Barbie. All that was missing was a paternity test.

11-18-11

What I just heard Ella say to the big kids: "You people are breaking (pause) my (pause) HEART."

11-28-11

Ella runs like Phoebe Buffay from Friends. I fully expect her to break out into a rousing rendition of Smelly Cat any minute.

12-2-11

I'm currently having some problems with my work email. Ella asked me what was the matter. I explained (in 4 yr. old terms.) In response, with her hand on her hip, "Mom, when I have problems with my email, I just don't email any more. I mean... it's ridiculous. Crazy email acting up and stuff. Geesh." And then she walked away. *snort*

12-7-11

As I put Ella's sneakers on for preschool: "Momma, I can NOT wear my fast shoes to preschool. I just can't control the running power!" I guess we're now in the market for S-L-O-W sneakers.

12-14-11

So help me, I will never EVER tire of hearing a 4 year old sing Christmas carols often, enthusiastically, and usually off key. *soaking in every single minute of it*


I lurve you, Ella Bella Cinderella.

9-13-11 (earlier in the day)

Ella: "Mommy, is pee pee like a germy waterfall?"
Me: "Well, umm... Urine is actually sterile, but... well..."
Ella: "I don't get it."
Me: "Yeah. Me neither. So, yes. Pee pee is like a germy waterfall."

9-13-11

Today, Ella walked into the shared preschool bathroom, was confused by what she saw, and then ran out to proclaim to all who would listen that she saw a little stick with pee pee coming out of it. So then, of course, I have to listen to the retelling of this story with a straight face in front of the teacher when I pick her up. AND have a talk with Ella about it. AND listen to her go on and on about how she just does NOT understand what pee and sticks have to do with each other. Jealous yet?

9-3-11

Forgot to post yesterday (better late than never): I was in the middle of a really intense conference call with a client who was having email troubles. Ella's solution to bring levity to the phone call? You know... in the MIDDLE of the call. Yodeling, if course.

9-2-11

Things I never thought I'd have to say: "Ella, I don't care what cats do. You are not allowed to lick your feet."

8-31-11

Just a few minutes ago from the mouth of Ella: "The bathroom is only for FOUR things, Mommy. ONLY FOUR. Did you hear me? #1: going potty. #2: washing my hands. #3: putting in my hair pretties. #4: taking a bath. Oh, and #5 is doing whatever else I want in here. But no playing in the toilet, Mom. I better not catch you doing that. GROSS." Me: "No worries, Elle. I think I can resist the urge to play in the toilet."

8-25-11

At the breakfast table this morning, I was telling Rhett about my dream in which my car, purse, etc. was stolen, and I was stranded. Ella pipes up and says, "You need to get some better dreams."

8-23-11

Today, Ella announced to her entire preschool class that her dog, Charlie, and their class therapy dog, Cobb, are exactly alike. You now... because they both had their balls chopped off. Oh. My. God.

8-21-11

The boys are trying to teach Ella to say, "My name is Pepe, and I hail from mother Russia." in a Russian-ish accent. I would voice my disapproval if I wasn't laughing to hard.

8-19-11

Apparently, 4 is the age of complete honesty. This morning when I went into Ella's room to wake her up, she says, "Momma, your eyes look TERRIBLE. I think you need to go back to bed."

8-18-11

Ella just asked me if I was going to just drop her off at school today. Me: "Yep. Just like yesterday." Ella: "Well, this time, try not to cry."

8-17-11

Rhett and I dropped Ella off at preschool this afternoon. She literally ran into the classroom without so much as a goodbye. Wooohooo! No phone calls from the principal or the teacher. YAY! Three hours later, I went to pick her up. She was exhausted but happy. And the teacher didn't even give me any nasty looks on the way out! Winner, winner, chicken dinner!

8-16-11

The most disturbing thing I've heard in a long time: Ella had a nightmare in which I gave birth to a snake baby covered in popcorn. And I ate him/her/it. Apparently, just the snake baby and not the popcorn. No worries. I already made her an appointment to start therapy.

8-15-11

Ella has nixed the idea of being an onion for Halloween. Now she MUST be a coyote. With pink sparkles. And glitter. And a tutu. You know... because "coyotes are great dancers."

8-12-11

Ella woke up this morning, asking if she could go scuba diving for her birthday. But only if she gets a scuba suit that has sparkles and glitter all over it, of course. I'm afraid to tell her that her scuba expedition might have to be in a tiny plastic blow up pool in the backyard with a regular old swimsuit.

8-10-11

Ella is in the bathroom having a tantrum that involves pottying, jeans that she thinks don't fit, and whether she has socks on her feet. I'm starting to lose it, but then I hear her yell, "Would someone please come in here and scratch my butt!?" *snort* We're all class around this joint.

8-10-11

At dinner, Ella was barking orders. (Surprised?) I asked her, "Who do you think is in charge around here?" Her answer to me: "Well, you're SUPPOSED to be." So help me, I think I need to start a blog about her just to record and PROVE the naughtiness that was a 3 yr old Ella.

8-10-11

Ella is humming Smoke on the Water by Deep Purple. Dare I admit that I'm a little bit proud of that?

8-9-11

Right now, Lego Lady's hair is missing and someone *cough, cough* is inconsolable. So help me, if we ever find that tiny mop of black plastic hair, I'm super gluing that sh*t to her head. I mean, who goes around losing their HAIR, all willy nilly like?! Lego Lady does, folks. That's who! Geesh.

8-5-11

I just caught Ella talking to the toilet... and making it talk back to her. Clearly, she needs more friends.

8-5-11

Ella is contemplating her Halloween costume for this year. At this point, it's between a ladybug and an onion.

8-1-11

Ella is demanding to know why it's okay to kill bugs (specifically daddy long legs spiders that can't hurt you), but it's not okay to kill people. I have to say, I'm at a loss here. For that reason, I see lots of catch and release situations in our future.

7-31-11

Ella and I are watching Tangled for the millionth time. It makes my girl so happy that I don't mind a bit.

7-30-11

Ella loves to sing. She sounds like Tom Petty, sliding into most of her notes. And what she doesn't have in pitch, tune or melody, she makes up for with enthusiasm.

7-29-11

Ella was trying to explain where she wanted to go to lunch. She kept telling us, "They have 'O's' and an 'H' there. You know... where the owls live!" She was talking about Hooters. (For the record, we've never been there. I suspect she just likes the idea of an owl restaurant.)

7-29-11

Ella will NOT give up the request for a new baby. "Momma, the truth is that *I* can take care of the baby. I'm good at feeding the baby and rocking the baby and giving the baby a rattle." When asked what she would do about the dirty diapers? "Well, Momma, you can take there of those."

7-27-11

Ella is chasing our dog, Charlie, through the house, yelling, "Charlie, don't run away from my LOVE!" Oy.

7-26-11

Ella and I were playing tea party/brunch. I asked her what special ingredient she used to make everything taste so delicious. Her answer? Fiber. *snort*

7-22-11

Just overheard Ella say, "Cole, would you please open this, as if by magic?" *snort*

7-19-11

Ella just asked if "we" could have a baby. Ummm... no, Ella. "We" will not be having another baby. *shutter at the thought* Four is quite enough, thankyouverymuch.

7-19-11

Since Ella cannot have the baby that she wants, she's decided to have an imaginary baby called "Daddy baby"... you know... because he's her Dad went he was a baby. Duh. I'm getting lots of commentary about it. "Look, Momma! Daddy baby is crawling! Look, now he's eating peanut butters! Look, he just pooped his pants. You better get on that." *snort*

7-4-11

Ella: "Licking a rash is never a good idea." She should know.

7-2-11

We stopped at McD's on the turnpike so Ella could use the facilities. She decided to serenade all the elderly ladies that were fawning all over her. LOVE IT.

7-1-11

Ella has officially given up on napping... FOREVER. This development officially makes me want to say lots of naughty words. :/

6-28-11

Ella is flamenco dancing in the kitchen. Ohmygoodnessme, I love that girl. :)

6-24-11

While Ella was getting dressed this morning: "Mom, I LOVE being a ninja." Yes, sweetpea. You're my very stealthy ginja ninja with scabby knees and glitter sneakers.

6-21-11

Ella is absolutely convinced she's singing in French. I don't know French myself, but it sounds pretty convincing as she keeps throwing in a "oui, oui" here and there for effect.

6-16-11

The first thing Ella said to me this morning: "I sure do have a lot to say." Yes, sweet girl. LOTS to say.

6-8-11

You know you don't give your preschooler nearly enough candy when she has no idea exactly what to call a lollipop.

5-25-11

Ella is pretending to be a queen. She keeps repeating over and over again, "It is my duty to protect my royal florists." I'm pretty sure she means "to protect my royal subjects," but cannot be convinced. Oh well. I suppose one can have royal florists that need protection. *snort*

5-20-11

Ella is visiting preschool for a "getting to know you"-type event. I'm praying for good behavior, less bossy than usual and a teacher that finds her delightful instead of frustrating. *fingers crossed*

4-27-11

Ella: "I'm very concerned about my nutrition." Me: "Sweetheart, we can discuss it after you finish your Poptarts and chocolate milk." (Yes. She's only 3 1/2. And I'm a little afraid she's going to turn me into Child Services because of her breakfast... because she's smart like that.)

4-26-11

Ella has been busy rearranging the pillows on the couch and "deco-waiting" the family room. She's convinced she's "making it o'mantic up in here." *snort*

4-15-11

Ella: "I need to find Easter. It's probably just in the bathroom." And then, she actually looked in there.

4-6-11

Ella is absolutely convinced that her Grammy and Pop pop live in Dirty, Kansas. She refuses to believe that it's actually DERBY, Kansas.

3-29-11

Ella was busy explaining to me that I'm really, really old. When I asked her how many years old I am, she said, "At least a hundred years. Maybe more. You're the oldest person I know." Hmmmm... shall I laugh? Or cry?

3-28-11

In the midst of an enormous meltdown temper tantrum while riding in the car, Ella said to me, "I command you to turn here right this very instant!" It took every ounce of my might not to laugh... OR beat her.

3-24-11

I took Ella and Macey to the craft store this afternoon. We were there for at least 30 minutes. There were no tears. There was no screaming. There were only nice hands and quiet voices. Next, I fully expect to see Satan prancing around in a parka, pigs with angel wings, or unicorns knocking on my door to sell me magazines.

3-17-11

Ella has been struggling to figure out how to put her panties back on for the last 20 minutes. One half of me is hysterically laughing at the "Three Stooges"-ness of it all. The other half of me is having a hard time watching without helping. But, she's gotta figure it out for herself. *sigh* and *BWWWAHAHHAAAA*

3-7-11

Ella and Charlie's internal clocks are clearly broken. They were both up at 2:45 am. And for this reason, MY internal clock is a bit resentful.

2-15-11

Ella (age 3) and Charlie (our dog) decided to sneak into the bathroom and join me in the shower this morning. According to Ella, it was an emergency. Her favorite episode of Max and Ruby was on! And what better way to celebrate than a hot, steamy shower, of course?! Awesome.

2-7-11

Ella just fell off the dinner room bench while coloring. No tears. No drama. Just "Coloring can be dangerous!"